Incorrect Quotes - Team Flash Edition
by Chocolate X My Mouth
Summary: Featuring some incorrect quotes from our favorite superhero team, Team Flash! Includes our lovely speedster, his amazing doctor girlfriend and partner, their bio-engineer son, a speedy gal from the future, and even more assorted characters! Snowbarry, obviously. :) (yes another sh*tpost lol)
1. Chapter 1

**Yeah this all kinda started with Kate Kane... then it just, snowballed. Y'know?**

 **Please forgive me for these - these are mostly taken from my Tumblr, where my imagination is free to quote literally anything. You can imagine it gets crazy. XD Hope y'all enjoy!**

* * *

-0-

Caitlin: Nora, sweetie... did you eat all the powdered doughnuts?

Nora (mouth full of doughnuts): N-No...

Barry: Then what's that white stuff on your pants?

Nora: Cocaine.

-0-

Barry: I'M A FREE SPIRIT! I'LL DO WHAT I WANT!

Cisco: I'll call Caitlin.

Barry: No wait-

-0-

Cisco: Ralph, that's it - you're sitting at the kid's table next Thanksgiving.

Ralph: What? Why?

Caitlin: What's a carburetor?

Ralph: Uh…

Barry: Who's Spongebob's best friend?

Ralph: Patrick-oh.

-0-

Caitlin: Hi, welcome to Applebee's, would you like the apples or the bees?

Ralph (visibly confused): Uh… bees?

Caitlin: HE HAS CHOSEN THE BEES.

Barry: *kicks down the kitchen door, aggressively shaking a jar of live bees*

-0-

Barry: I think I need to be alone right now.

(later)

Barry (smiling): Thanks for being alone with me, Cait.

-0-

Nora: Uncle Cisco, you're just the best!

Cisco: Eat your oats.

Nora:

Caitlin:

Barry:

Cisco: I have no idea what uncles are supposed to say.

-0-

Barry: Cait, I'm afraid of backstories.

Caitlin (dressed in full doctor attire): Honey, when did this all start?

Barry: Well-aaaaaAAAAAAAAAA

-0-

Ralph: (trying to climb onto the roof to do a backflip onto a trampoline)

Caitlin: (trying to stop him)

Barry: (cheering him on)

Cisco: (making a bet with Sherloque on whether or not Ralph will hurt himself)

Nora: (looks into the camera like she's in The Office): Yep. This is my family.

-0-

Iris: Nora, where's Barry?

Nora: Doing stupid stuff.

Iris: Then where's Sherloque?

Nora: Trying to stop Barry from doing stupid stuff.

Iris: So where is Cisco?

Nora: Trying to stop Sherloque from stopping Barry from doing stupid stuff.

Iris: Then what are you two doing here?

Caitlin: We have to keep you distracted so you don't try to stop Cisco from trying to stop Sherloque from trying to stop Barry from doing stupid stuff.

-0-

Cicada: You heroes are too late! You'll never stop me now!

Barry: That's where you're wrong, Cicada! We will stop you with the powers of:

Caitlin: Friendship!

Cisco: Harmony!

Sherloque: Incredible violence.

Nora: And love!

-0-

Barry: Everything's gonna be fine… its just a crush.

Caitlin (waving and smiling): Hi Barry!

Barry: I love you.

-0-

Ralph: Everyone synchronize your watches.

Cisco: I don't know how to do that.

Caitlin: I don't wear a watch.

Barry: Time is a construct.

-0-

Caitlin: Cisco told me that instead of being sad I should just "go get it, girl". So I'm going to go get it, girl.

Barry: Get what?

Caitlin: Not clear. I'll get everything just to be safe.

-0-

Barry: Hey Frost! I made us friendship bracelets!

Frost: You know, I'm not really a jewelry person.

Barry: Okay, you don't have to wear i-

Frost: No. I'm gonna wear it forever. Back off.

-0-

Barry: Listen Nora - in this world, its either "yeet" or "be yeeted".

Caitlin: Barry, you're scaring the poor thing.

-0-

Nora: *sneaks in through the window at 2 AM*

Barry: *turning on the light* So, where were you?

Nora: I, u-uh… I was with Caitlin!

Caitlin: *spins around in her chair* Wanna try again?

-0-

Ralph: Hey, I dare you to kiss the next person that walks in.

Barry: I'm not kissing any of you guys.

Caitlin: *walks in*

Barry: Fine, I'll do it. I mean, rules are rules, right?

-0-

Barry: Cait, did it hurt when you fell?

Caitlin (smiling): From heaven?

Barry: No, from the vending machine.

Barry: *putting on shades* Cause you a snack.

-0-

Caitlin: Putting "uwu" at the end of a sentence makes the sentence cute and harmless.

Barry: I love you uwu

Nora: I just got food uwu

Sherloque: I'm going to murder you uwu

Cisco: Please don't do that uwu

Sherloque: No promises uwu

-0-

(Sherloque has lost his hat)

Barry: Calm down, Sherloque, its only a hat.

Sherloque (aghast): Only a hat?!

Caitlin: Sherloque's a little attached to that hat. He thinks it's lucky.

Sherloque: It is lucky. I ain't never died while wearing that hat.

Barry: I-I'm… I'm not sure how to respond to that.

Cisco: That's a common reaction to Sherloque.

-0-

Barry and Caitlin: *casually talking and smiling, having lunch*

Cisco: *leans into their table*

Cisco: Hey guys. I've just discovered a new drug - its called "Your Relationship". And I'm high on it.

-0-

Nora (about Barry and Caitlin): Are they flirting?

Cisco: I think so.

Caitlin: We're not flirting, we're arguing.

Barry: We're flirting.

-0-

Cisco: Y'all'd've'f'ld've.

Barry: You all would have if I would have?

Cisco: Correct! It's almost a complete sentence of contractions!

Caitlin: Our son is out of control, Barry.

-0-

Ralph: *tries to flirt with Caitlin*

Barry: *staring at Ralph*

Cisco: You're really quiet today, Barry.

Barry (in a whisper): No one plans a kidnapping out loud.

-0-

Barry: Making my way downtown, walking fast.

Barry:

Barry: Walking a little slower because Caitlin's wearing high heels and I don't want to make her run in those.

* * *

 **Now THAT** **was fun to do XD If anyone wants the sources, most of them are probably from Vine, Tumblr, Parks and Rec, or something else... I didn't source check sowwy XD**

 **I will continue this once I continue to fill up my Tumblr with quotes XD**


	2. Chapter 2

**Ahhhh nothing like incorrect quotes when you're sick XD**

* * *

-0-

(Cicada punches Barry, causing him to fall down)

Cicada: I WIN, FLASH! GIVE UP!

Frost: *runs out of nowhere* I don't think so, Cicada!

Frost: *puts down an Uno reverse card*

Cicada: *falls down* SON OF A-

Barry: I love you.

-0-

Caitlin: I don't get paid enough for this.

Barry: Enough for what?

Caitlin: *gestures to everything*

Barry: …you're damn right.

-0-

Caitlin: Sometimes I feel like a box.

Barry: Hmm?

Caitlin: I'm fragile and need to be handled with care.

-0-

Caitlin: If you had 10 cookies, and you gave me five, how many would you have?

Barry: None.

Caitlin: Barry, its simple math, its not that har-

Barry: I would've given them all to you because I love you and you deserve lots of cookies.

Caitlin:

Caitlin: *cries*

-0-

Nora: Why did dad lock himself in the loft today?

Caitlin: He took one of those "Which superhero are you?" quizzes.

Nora: Oh no… who'd he get?

Caitlin: Green Arrow.

-0-

Barry: Wow Frost, loving the new suit! What's it made out of?

Frost: Girlfriend material.

-0-

Cisco: What's wrong with Frost?

Barry: Poor girl doesn't handle alcohol too well…

Frost: I'M GONNA STEAL THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE!

-0-

Ralph: You should stop being so nice and understanding with Caitlin all the time. Next thing you know, she is going to fall in love with you. Is that what you want?

Barry: *not looking up* I don't know. Is that what I want?

Cisco: *loudly, from the other side of the lab* Y E S!

-0-

Caitlin: *skipping into the lab* What a beautiful day! Isn't it a beautiful day?

Cisco: *smiles* Barry texted you, didn't he?

Caitlin: With a heart emoji-

-0-

Frost: *hugs Barry from behind*

Frost: *softly plays with Barry's hair*

Frost: *whispers gently*

Frost: _Eat my chocolate again and we are done._

-0-

Ralph: Its just like chess. Sometimes, to win, you have to sacrifice your king.

Barry: You idiot! That's exactly how you lose!

-0-

Caitlin: Come on, I wasn't _that_ drunk!

Cisco: You tried to color Barry's face with a highlighter because you said he was important.

Caitlin: *crying* Because he IS!

-0-

Caitlin: You… have a nice face.

Barry: Hmm?

Caitlin: You have a nice face-I mean, you have a _nice_ face.

Barry: Uhhh… thanks? I guess?

Caitlin: Oh my gosh. Please accept my awkward attempts of flirting. I don't know what I am doing.

-0-

Caitlin: If there is such a thing as true love, I don't know if I'll ever find it.

Barry: *smiling like sunshine* Oh, don't worry! I'm sure that you'll find it someday. :) Maybe you and I can find it together! :D

Caitlin: *softly* O-Oh my gosh… I found it.

-0-

Cisco: Carpenters go to _boarding_ school.

Barry: _Wood_ you believe that?

Caitlin: I _saw_ what you did there.

Sherloque: Tree.

Barry: Thank you for your contribution, Sherloque.

-0-

Frost: I don't have too many close friends, really.

Barry: Bold words from someone within my hugging range.

-0-

Caitlin: I'm going to punch you in the mouth!

Caitlin: With my mouth.

Barry:

Caitlin: Softly… Because I love you.

-0-

Ralph: Frost, no!

Frost: Frost yes!

Cisco: Frost, no!

Frost: Frost… maybe?

Barry (softly): Frost, no.

Frost: *sighs* Frost no.

-0-

Barry: How long are we gonna let him go like this?

Caitlin: Just let him do his thing.

Cisco: *pulling a door that clearly says push*

-0-

Cisco: What are you reading?

Barry: A book of things I love.

Cisco: …those are just photos of Caitlin.

Barry: Huh. What a coincidence.

-0-

(Barry is high on morphine after a bad battle)

Caitlin: Okay honey, I'm going to ask you some questions. How tall are you?

Barry: *weakly* Yogurt.

-0-

Caitlin: *walks downstairs* …Is something burning?

Barry: *leaning seductively against the counter* Just my desire for you.

Caitlin: Barry, the toaster's on fire.

-0-

Ralph: Hey, what's up with Barry? He's just been laying on the ground for about fifteen minutes.

Cisco: He's a little overwhelmed.

Ralph: Why?

Cisco: Caitlin giggled.

-0-

Ralph: *wearing an apron* Barry!

Iris: *also wearing an apron* Barry, you're home!

Barry: What the-

Cisco: *wiping the kitchen counter* I cleaned the house for you!

Caitlin: *opening the oven* I made dinner darling!

Nora: I missed you dad!

Sherloque: Welcome home!

Barry:

Barry: Guys, this is IKEA. We're going to get kicked out.

-0-

Barry and Caitlin: *reach for food at the same time* *their hands touch* *a magic moment happens* *sparks fly as they gaze at each other*

Cisco and Ralph: *reach for food at the same time* *their hands touch*

Cisco: Get your hands off my McDonald's.

* * *

 **Okie I actually feel a little better after this xD**


	3. Chapter 3

**So... after writing the finale of my Season 3 story, I gots to do more quotes! Derh. XD**

* * *

-0-

Caitlin: I'm ambidextrous.

Barry: And I support you, no matter who you choose to love!

-0-

Ralph: Let's get this bread!

Cisco: Let's ghost this toast!

Caitlin: Let's obtain this grain!

Barry: Let's feast on this yeast!

Nora: LET'S YEET THIS WHEAT

-0-

Ralph: I just tried watermelon on pizza. Honestly? It was pretty good.

Caitlin: That's him, officer. That's the guy right there. Take the shot before he gets away.

-0-

Barry: Where's the yogurt, babe? I thought you went to the store.

Caitlin: *mumbles*

Barry: What?

Caitlin: It was on the top shelf! And I wasn't wearing my heels so I couldn't reach it!

-0-

Frost: What are you gonna do, annoy him into talking?

Barry: Haha, very funny.

-later-

Barry: *holding a guitar, standing in front of a handcuffed Cicada* Two, three, four!

Barry: *random strumming while screaming*

-0-

Barry: How long does your ideal hug last?

Caitlin: 38 to 45 minutes.

Barry: That's… unrealistic.

Caitlin: You said ideal, not realistic.

-0-

Cisco: I can't believe you and Barry broke the bed last night!

Sherloque: It must've been wild!

Caitlin: Haha… yeah…

(last night)

Caitlin (in her extra fluffy pajamas): Bet you can't jump high enough to touch the ceiling!

Barry: Try me.

-0-

Barry: Frost, this is a crime scene.

Frost: *with a tub of ice cream from the victim's kitchen* What is this, the murder weapon? Get off my ass!

-0-

Caitlin: My boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do?

Cisco: Tackle him.

Ralph: Dump him.

Sherloque: Kick him in the shin.

Barry: Just ask me to lean down!

-0-

Cisco: Kiss, marry, kill. Your options are me, Caitlin, and Sherloque.

Barry: Kiss you, marry Cait, kill Ralph.

Ralph: I wasn't even one of the options what the heck-

-0-

Barry: You've heard of Vans, the shoe company.

Barry: Now get ready for Shoes, the van company.

Caitlin: Barry, as much as I love you, go to sleep. It is 3 AM.

-0-

Barry: There's only one thing worst than death! *pulls away piece of paper to reveal "Caitlin's Death"* Boom.

Cisco, Nora, Sherloque: *collective gasp*

Ralph: Caitlin.

Barry: _NO-_

-0-

Frost: *hugs Barry from behind* Have I ever told you that I love you so much and you're the best thing that's ever hap-

Barry: *smiles knowingly* Babe I know you just want my nachos.

Frost: …please?

-0-

Frost: Me - the bees knees.

Frost: *turns to Cicada* You - COCKROACH ANKLES.

-0-

Caitlin: We're so in sync we finish each other's…

Barry: *staring off into space*

Caitlin: Ssss….

Barry: *suddenly snaps back* Somebody once told me-

-0-

Barry: Why is your report card on the ceiling?

Nora: You told me to bring my grades up!

Barry:

Barry: You know what I did say that, let me have a look-

-0-

Frost: Is everything okay?

Savitar (while smiling and giving a thumbs up): Nope.

-0-

Barry: I love you.

Caitlin: I love you more.

Barry: No, I love you mo-

Caitlin: *hugs him tenderly, whispers in his ear* Don't start a game you can't win, Barry.

-0-

Barry: (*moves around in bed, hears a soft thump on the floor*)

Barry: *gasps softly* Caitlin, no.

-0-

Caitlin: I will fight the next person who insults my boyfriend!

Barry: Lol I suck

Caitlin: Alright, that's it you beautiful baby! FIGHT ME!

-0-

Caitlin: Did you have a plan?

Barry: I THOUGHT THE ADRENALINE WOULD KICK IN BUT IT DID NOT!

-0-

Nora: Pardon? Sorry, I couldn't hear you over my internal monologue.

-0-

Cisco: I've connected the dots.

Harry: You didn't connect shit.

Cisco: I've connected them.

-0-

Barry: Did you bring your knife?

Frost: Why would I bring my knife to dinner?

Barry: …Its in your dress's jacket, isn't it?

Frost: Maybe.

-0-

-OTF group chat-

Cisco: Online posting is like military combat and im the brave general and you are all the footsoldiers fighting in the tranches.

Caitlin: Tranch.

Barry: Tranch.

Cisco: I'm sending you both behind enemy lines and I don't expect either of you to return.

* * *

 **I'm in a Snowbarry mood can't you tell lol**


End file.
